Rocky shit - a fable
Monday, January 29th, 2007 at 6:32 pmSo there was this chick who lived on a mountain. And like most people she carried a sack of old shit around. Some of the shit had rocks in it and was painful to carry. There were several good reasons why she couldn’t even take the rocks out of the shit and throw them at the person who’d given the rocky shit to her. (Ok, she had thrown a couple. But she wasn’t going to fling the whole lot; that just wouldn’t have been nice.) Anyway, shit with rocks in it had certain uses. It was surprisingly educational, and sometimes taking it out and rolling in it could be fun in a kinky kind of way. Anyhow, one day this chick learned absolutely the last lesson that the rocky shit could teach. Don’t ask how she knew it was the last lesson. She just did. And it was quite a long time since she had enjoyed rolling around in it. So she decided to throw the shit off the mountain. But the shit was pretty damn sticky. It wouldn’t leave her hand. So, sighing, and after washing her hands, she sat down and had words with the rocky shit. “Go away,” she said, just like Josh Geller on alt.magick. “You’ve been a teacher, fair enough, but you’re dismissed.” Immediately - or almost immediately - the old shit turned into an old fart who bowed with his hands knotted in front of him and then ambled off down the mountain, no doubt with the intention of finding someone else to bother. The chick looked around her mountain. The scenery was fine. The sky was a lovely ethereal blue. There was not, just right then, even the slightest whiff of shit in the air.
February 2nd, 2007 at 4:50 am
I think my shit is possibly hearing impaired…? Hmm. Maybe I should speak up a little.
February 2nd, 2007 at 5:13 am
I’m attempting to find the logical symbolism in that little tale.
Unfortunately my head has just exploded from the strain.
February 2nd, 2007 at 5:59 am
“Unfortunately my head has just exploded from the strain.”
It’s not hard to make your head explode from mental exertion, Scott. This is you we’re talking about here.
February 2nd, 2007 at 8:18 am
At least, a used bag of shit and rocks would still probably smell fresh to whoever found it next.
February 2nd, 2007 at 2:11 pm
Laurie - Rocky shit is always stone deaf… (ducks)
Scott - and as soon as the mountain was nice and clean and shit-free, your head exploded and made everything grotty again? Nooooeees!
Dave - Damn. Forgot to put a biohazard sticker on the bag.
February 3rd, 2007 at 6:32 am
What is frightening is that despite the…. oddities… it feels so much like an old Chinese folktale.
Although now that I’m thinking that I see one of those backpack like baskets (I’m sure they have an official name, couldn’t find it. http://www.terragalleria.com/pictures-subjects/people-carrying-things/picture.people-carrying-things.chin4885.html)
Or a huge jar! Those things are awesome.
February 3rd, 2007 at 9:43 am
“Laurie - Rocky shit is always stone deaf… (ducks)”
I granite you that. (throws Holy Cheese Wheel™)
February 3rd, 2007 at 2:36 pm
Scott - I like the basket - it’s more practical for carrying shit around in than a jar (even though I agree, those big Chinese jars are awesome)
Laurie - ack! You know the ancient technique of ‘Reflect Pun at Double Strength’! I die, squished victim of your punmanship and the Great Sacred Edam.