The continuing adventures of my great aunt
Thursday, March 26th, 2009 at 8:55 pmThe latest report is that she hit one of the staff and escaped again, using her Jedi superpowers. Assuming cosmic proportions, she went on a stomping rampage through Melbourne, mistaking it for Tokyo (she wasn’t wearing her glasses), tearing up skyscrapers and shooting lasers out of her eyes. Lord Mayor Robert Doyle, seeing (though a periscope in his bunker) my aunt’s potential as a weapon with which he might realise his dream of destroying Adelaide, deployed a crack unit of parking inspectors to capture her. Pulling the dome off Flinders Street Station and the spire off the Arts Centre, she made a mortar and pestle with which she ground the parking inspectors into a hearty (and livery, and bony) soup. Then she wandered west and destroyed Adelaide* anyway.
Mum is none too pleased and has hired an outside carer with ninja superpowers to keep an eye on my aunt. However, in fights between Jedi and ninja, the Jedi usually wins.
*Speaking of Adelaide, South Australia has passed a new law allowing the cloning of human embryos for research, and the mixing of human and animal genetic material. No longer will Adelaide be known as the City of Churches, but as the City of Flying Dog-Men. And you can grow your own dope there. For Baphomet’s sake, does that sound like the kind of place that should be shut down…?
March 26th, 2009 at 10:26 pm
You know if they mix that genetic material just right, we might get Jedi after all!
March 27th, 2009 at 3:19 am
I thought Adelaide was the murder capital of Australia…?
I hope your aunt is okay. I’m guessing, if she’s going as far as to stage elabourate city-destroying breakouts, she must be a bit distressed by where she is. Fingers crossed.
March 27th, 2009 at 4:39 am
Kirby – lol, yeah! Or the Kwisatz Haderach. Since we already have mitochondrial DNA, all of us are hybrid critters anyhow. But I suppose the wowsers think mtDNA is the work of Satan.
Tessa – she had lived in her house all her life, literally. 100 years. She had most of her marbles until she was moved into the care facility, then suddenly went downhill. I talked to a psychologist friend who said that it happens when old people are moved to strange new environments. It can also be an effect of medication. I’m going to ask Mum to check with the nurses re just what drugs she’s on.
Adelaide is? Somewhere has to be, I guess…