When I was a kid I was fascinated by Chinese writing. I used to scribble all over sheets of paper pretending to write in Chinese . I have a bundle of exotic nostalgias about China. I love cloudy gorges, dragons, foo dogs, paper lanterns and sampans in the same way that I love images of Edo-period Japan. My mother grew up in a gold-rush town with a large Chinese population, and I’m sure I’ve also inherited her nostalgia about the old wooden Chinatown and the Chinese people she knew. It’s primarily a nostalgia for images, acquired through images. She wasn’t happy in her own culture and I think she longed for that other culture (these days she’s a Japanophile). So I think it’s part of my spirit, but I don’t know if that’s in any pure, past life kind of way, or if it’s because China was always this beautiful, fantastical image given to me by my mother. Though I can say that as an adult I’ve come to appreciate both Taoist and Confucian thought — but I don’t know whether the Chinese themselves are still interested in those philosophies.

I hope you get to study in China! And don’t worry, the books will wait for you. Perhaps they’ll read each other while you’re busy…

The Chinese culture has long attracted me, as if it were part of my spirit/who I once was. I am truly hoping that as I advance in my study of Chinese history I’ll have the opportunity to spend some time studying there.