I’ve made my word count already, so I get to blog.
Maybe writers aren’t meant to express a lot of frustration with or doubt in what they’re writing — I mean, all this blogging business is to create positive vibes around your work, right? — but I need to let it out. This story is kicking my arse so hard I need to wear a rubber tire for underwear. Parts of it are pleasing, I like them, they feel right — but damn near everything I’ve written for the purpose of shoving plot into what were, er, some elusively plotted scenes is bugging me. I feel like it’s not gripping the road. Maybe the plot is all wrong for the… the what? …the thingy? Maybe the plot is wrong for the thingy. Maybe the plot is wrong for the characters. Maybe I’ve tried to jam too much material (not so much plot as ideas, possibly) into a short(ish) work. I don’t know. This story has brought me to tears of frustration more than once. It’s hard to write when it feels as though no matter what words I put down, it’s all somehow going in the wrong direction.
I can’t change the plot or the ideas around it now. I’ve got to bite the pillow, persevere with the story I worked out, just do the best I can with it, then look for feedback. Maybe it’s fine, maybe the good will outweigh or at least balance the bad, if I can’t get rid of the bad. Maybe I’ll have to completely strip and rebuild it. But I really mustn’t think about that.
I’m going to cook some of those quail eggs. I always thought those little eggs were quail eggs, and they are, despite being labelled partridge. Apparently a partridge is the same bird as a quail. (ETA: Ok, they’re not the same. Partridge, quail, I don’t know, they’re little eggs!)
ETA 2: I bit the pillow. I moved a long plotty/expository conversation to what I think is a less awkward place and will look for ways to break it up a bit across other scenes, but honestly I’m not sure that I can; I don’t think it breaks naturally, so it might have to stay as it is. I’m now past 8000 words. Tomorrow’s my art class, so I’ll be at the studio, probably all day, since once I start I tend to want to keep going. Big Pan’s torso and legs are coming along. Tomorrow I want to get the arms right and do whatever else I can.